Cheesy Valentine’s Day Special

Happy Day After Valentine’s Day to all!

Let it be known that I am one of the bitter people that think Valentine’s Day is a sham of sorts. I don’t really care for red roses or prix fix menus at overly crowded restaurants, and those stupid candy hearts taste like artificially flavored chalk.  Getting conned into having to create elaborate proclamations of love is far less thoughtful than say, a spontaneous surprise on a random Tuesday after a particularly bad day. To me, flowers (particularly Cala Lillies *hint*) would be far more appreciated on any day other than Valentine’s Day.

I did make some tasty cupcakes for the office folks though.(recipe to come)

That being said, how do I celebrate the holiday of love? I like to try and go the non-traditional route: stay at home with a bad scary movie. Bad scary movies are the greatest, and trust me, they’re are SO MANY bad scary movies out there to be seen. Seriously, one of my favorite Valentine’s Day dates consisted of a bottle of wine, some cheap paper 3-D glasses (the particularly fashionable ones with the red and blue cellophane ‘lenses’), and My Bloody Valentine 3D.

Last night’s movie of choice:

Oh yeah, Shark Night…what could be more romantic than this delightful slice of cinematic excellence??

Funny you should ask? Because I decided to shake things up this year with a wine and cheese event – Sassy Swan’s Cheesy Valentine’s Day Special:

The Spread

I thought it would be fun (and blog-worthy) to go on a cheese hunt, pair said cheeses with some accompanying wine, and stuff my face while watching teenagers get mauled by sharks. The makings of a truly great Valentine’s Day.

I decided I wanted to try and get all local (ish) cheeses and was guided to Three Rivers Market downtown where I scooped up six different cheeses and some goodies to go with them.

  1. Coffee Gouda (Boone Creek Creamery)
  2. Mini Grayson (Meadow Creek Diary)
  3. Mountaineer (Meadow Creek Diary)
  4. Ginger Rhapsody (Boone Creek Creamery)
  5. Singing Brook (Blackberry Farm)
  6. KY Derby (Boone Creek Creamery)

Cheese #1 was paired with a Cabernet Sauvignon, #3 & #5 were paired with a Chianti, #4 & #6 were paired with a Cabernet Sauvignon Blanc, and cheese #2, was supposed to be paired with a strong American ale.

A word on cheese #2: Cheese #2 stunk. And not the nutty pungent smell of a blue. I’m talking a clear the room, eye-watering, miserable stench that permeated several layers of my skin and clothes.

And, oh my God, I actually put a piece in my mouth. Then swallowed it. Then immediately chugged the beer that it was supposed to go with, then started reaching for anything, ANYTHING, to cover up the residual taste. My palate is 100% not ‘mature’ enough for anything that funky to be enjoyed.

After we tried this, I put it in a Ziploc bag, that somehow by some scientific miracle, was not enough to withhold the stink, and had to double then triple bag that bad boy for maximum effectiveness. We are talking maybe 2 ounces of cheese that I’m fairly certain curled the paint on my walls. Gwyneth Paltrow once said ” I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can.” Well I’d rather eat cheese from a can for the rest of my life than ever have to smell that stink again.

Aside from that ordeal, the other cheeses were fantastic. Now, I’m not going to bore you with the details regarding how the different wines complemented the cheese and brought out distinct notes of whatever…it sounds pretentious and you probably don’t care. But it was tons of fun trying different cheeses with the wines and mixing different flavors. I would  highly recommended a wine/beer/cheese  date night, especially if you are willing to be adventurous with stinky cheese (gas mask required).

I am not afraid to say that a piece of crusty bread, some honey and a chunk of cheese absolutely made my night. Sometimes it’s the little things.

My canine Valentine wasn’t too bad either…

"If you ever bring that stinky cheese back in the house, I'm running away."

Side note – my sassy pants were put to good use yesterday. If you can’t rock some hot pink pants on V-day, when can you?

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8 thoughts on “Cheesy Valentine’s Day Special

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