The Sassy Swan Half Marathon

So remember a few months ago, when I got all ambitious and decided to jump into a Half Marathon a Month Project? Well that was before a heat wave of epic proportions decided to blanket the South East and I, the perpetually cold-natured and lover of warm weather, decided to boycott venturing outside unless absolutely necessary. When it becomes to hot out for me, you know it’s really hot out.

But let’s be honest – I can’t proclaim my dedication to a project and quit after one month, that’s super lame. My June 1/2 really wasn’t that bad – I mean I didn’t faint so that’s a thumbs up in my book – so a July half should only be slightly warmer. This is, of course, a lie all runners tell themselves in order to push through the inevitable suffering of Southern Summer Runs…

Unfortunately, I ran into (ha! get it?) a slight problem when trying to find a July half marathon anywhere close to me – there wasn’t one. Turn’s out, I’m not the only one who thinks running in sweltering conditions is just crazy talk. Let’s take a look at what I had to choose from:

As you can see from this delightful representation of all half marathons taking place in the U.S. in the month of July (Running in the USA is the best site for finding races) There were exactly 3 races within a 3 hour radius of Knoxville. Throw in an impromptu trip to Charleston during one weekend, a sold-out race of choice during another, and that left one remaining. Said race was, get this, a loop that needed to be run ELEVEN times. And it was not timed. Damn it, if I’m going to travel 3 hours to run in a circle 11 times, it better at least be timed amIright?

After thinking long and hard about my options, or in this case, lack there of, I decided I had two choices: I could skip the month of July (and be super lame) or I could run my own race. So run my own race I will be doing. Tomorrow morning to be exact.

Race limit is capped at 1 person. Sorry…

Yup – 13.1 miles through downtown Knoxville accompanied by the eternally supportive J, who will be riding his bike along with me, providing  liquid refreshments, and keeping track of my time.

(Ladies, take note – the mark of a good man is one who is willing to accompany you on your ridiculous endeavors and is more than willing to look like a wierdo right along with you.)

Tomorrow’s predicted weather lists a temperature of 74 around 7AM with 100% humidity. Perfect. At least this time, I’ll have J to sling me over his shoulder and pedal me home should I pass out.

Cheers to a fabulous weekend everyone, catch you Monday with my “results”!


5 thoughts on “The Sassy Swan Half Marathon

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