Recipe Fails

Today, I’d like to talk about failure.

Don’t be scared – I’m not talking the devastating & earth-shattering kind. I’m talking about the little things you try, that fail so miserably that you can’t help but find the ironic humor in it all, and laugh. And in my case, whip out my phone and capture the moment with the requisite  #FAIL snapshots. I’d hate to miss out on sharing something that amusing with the world.

Although the first reaction to many of my failures is immediate disappointment – “I tried so hard, what a waste.” – sometimes, you just have to laugh at yourself. In fact, I encourage it.

Yesterday my good friend A, wrote a fantastic blog post titled “25 Things I Learned By Age 25” I think #12 sums it up best:

Life is pretty funny, and sometimes you just need to stop for a second and laugh in its face.

That being said, let’s take a look at a few of my most recent recipe fails for your viewing pleasure:

1. Red, White, and WTF

This pile of patriotic slop took place right before the 4th of July. This was my attempt at a red white and blue cake roll that went horribly awry. Not only did the cake split, but in a moment of glorious intelligence, I lined the blue and white stripes in the wrong direction. If Uncle Sam got hit by a Mac truck, I imagine this is what it would look like.

Surprisingly, it tasted delicious. So much so, J packed up the sad remains and carted it off to work where it actually got eaten. Apparently presentation isn’t everything.

2. Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Garbage

A few months ago, I had an issue (issue, obsession, ADDICTION) to Pretzel M&M’s: a pretzel ball covered in chocolate and a candy coating. Easy to recreate right? WRONG. Oh so wrong. I crushed some pretzels (first mistake) threw in some peanut butter and cream cheese to form a sticky mess (second mistake) and rolled said mixture into balls. My idea was to cover them in milk chocolate, followed by some candy coating but it never got that far. After refrigerating said balls, they proceeded to get all mushy and I couldn’t justify wasting any chocolate or further energy on the matter.

The dogs LOVED them though so this was a great success to them.

3. Pinterest Flops:

  • Cauliflower Pizza Crust: I mean, it looked and smelled good, one would assume it would hold its shape and taste at least similar to a crust…
  • Roasted chick peas: Not at all the cruncy fun that was advertised
  • Black Bean burgers: Hey, at least J tried ’em – sweet boy. These were so bad I didn’t even take a picture of them. And they tasted like cardboard. The kind of cardboard that has been sitting outside a dumpster in the rain for a few days.

Trust me, I’ve failed at far more things than easy to clean-up and forget about recipes. From running goals, to career choices, to relationships I’ve been around the block a few times with some pretty epic and disheartening failures. But the point of this post is not to discourage – It’s to encourage you to try new things, keeping in mind that there is  always going to be a possibility of failure. And if it comes to that, learn from your mistakes. Be Humble. And never forget to laugh.

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6 thoughts on “Recipe Fails

  1. Reblogged this on See Alex Write. and commented:
    I fell in love with Knoxville, Tenn., earlier this year when I attended the Southern Food Writing Conference and International Biscuit Festival (YES, that’s a real thing).

    Aside from having the opportunity to spend a few days with some of the best Southern food writers in existence, I also met a fabulous girl named Kate Swanson. She and I became fast friends and spent the next few days eating, drinking and laughing way too much — the way life should be.

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